we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I party with great urgency now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
