he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
