I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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