NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
