jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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