508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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