I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
