Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
