THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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