he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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