walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
