i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
