Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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