Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
