break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
