What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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