somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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