Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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