I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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