We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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