White coat. Heels.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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