I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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