I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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