they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
