Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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