Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
