So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize