Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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