just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
