Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize