I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
