I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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