some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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