I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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