did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
