I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
