hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
