I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I party with great urgency now.
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