if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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