Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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