I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I looked at my own cervix.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
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You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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