genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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