Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
