She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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