Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize