but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
