Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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