He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
