you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
NoShamevember. You game?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
