never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have started to decorate penises.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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