Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
