I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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