And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
