What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
