I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Screwed.edu
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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