Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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