I CAN MOONWALK!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
