yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
