Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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