I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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