Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
