On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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