I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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