in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
