I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
